Learning to Take Care of Me

April 28th, 2011

I realized something quite fascinating about myself recently.  I learned that I have a really hard time nurturing myself.  Seems like a strange thing to find out about yourself, but after reflecting on my life and trying to pinpoint the reasons for my recurring stress, I have come to that conclusion. I have spent so much time trying to make other people happy, that I have often neglected my own happiness and needs.  Please don't get me wrong, I am plenty happy, but I would say that I am a people pleaser.  I love saying "yes" to everything, knowing that by agreeing to it, I won't be dissappointing anyone.  It feels so good....or does it???

I guess maybe it doesn't.  By saying "yes" to everyone else, I am basically saying "no" to myself.  Only recently have I learned to put the word "no" into practice when others start to ask too much of me. It was a little scary at first (what will they think of me???  will they ever ask me to do anything again???, etc), but now it feels good.  It feels good because I am being honest with others and myself.  If I truly don't want to do something, I just respectfully say no.  No explanation needed, just "no."

This new found ability to say "no" has really empowered me.  I am beginning to understand that this journey through infertility is a little bit about being selfish.  Not selfish in the "I must always get my way" fashion, but selfish in the" it's ok to sit on the couch and read a book" kind of way.  I still struggle with relaxing, knowing that there are a million other things I should be accomplishing, but now I acknowlege it and allow myself these nurturing moments. 

I guess my point is, that everyone should take time to nurture themselves.  Do the things that make you happy and learn to say "no"  (in a nice way of course!).  This journey through infertility is hard enough as it is.  As my husband tells me, "this is your time to be selfish."  Now I just need to believe it.

Maybe I will get that massage......