Worried. I think this feeling will follow me for the rest of my days now that I am a parent. It really escalated the moment I became pregnant and it has, unfortunately, gotten worse. No wonder I noticed my first grey hair a month ago!
Case in point. I had just gone to get the bundle out of her crib from a nap when I noticed something on her arm. "Oh no...it couldn't be!!! Is that bruise?" Then, "I am a horrible parent, how could she have gotten a bruise in her crib?" Then, "Did she do it before her nap and I didn't notice?" Worried thoughts were creeping up in my mind and then...guilt...and then complete irrational behavior.
I swooped up my little one and gave her a bunch of kisses, apologizing for the fact that her horrible mommy somehow let her get a bruise. Let's just say she didn't seem phased in the least. Nope...no tears, no crying at all...just her normal smilely self. Well, I just couldn't let it go...so, I called my mom. See, what I mean? Totally irrational! Like I didn't know how to treat a bruise (um, you can't really)...but, I guess I just wanted verification.
My mom was very supportive and didn't make me feel like the total crazy new mom that I was. She told me not to worry (yeah right) and that if the little bundle didn't seem to be hurt, then don't worry about it...there would be many more bruises to come. Indeed, thanks Mom...I know you speak from experience.
Well, the best part of this story is that the mark on my daughter's arm...after some inspection...was not a bruise...nope...it was a hickey that she had given herself! Yup, she has gotten into the habit of sometimes sucking on her arm...so there you go...all of that worrying and she did it to herself.
God bless motherhood! Time for me to worry about something else now...
