Guess what...life isn't fair

It's a lesson that we all learn throughout our lives isn't it?  I don't think I can even count the number of times I've said "that's not fair."  What's interesting is that we start learning this lesson early on in our lives...when we don't get that toy we want, when we can't leave the table until we finish our brussels sprouts, when we study hard and only get a C+, and on and on. 

As we get older this lesson gets a little bit harder to rationalize.  I thought that with age came reason, but sometimes it just stinks to be reasonable.  During this whole baby journey I have really struggled with this idea of fairness.  Everything about this process seems unfair.  It's not fair that two responsible, loving people can't conceive a child, it's not fair that crack-head moms can pop out what seems like 12 children at a time, it's not fair that EVERYONE around me is pregnant or is a mom!!!

I had just learned that I wasn't pregnant (a trend I am starting to get a little bit annoyed about), and I was all bent out of shape.  Luckily, I have a great support system (you know who you are!) including my amazing husband.  Anyway, we were walking home from work and happened to pass by the following: a woman kindly decling a solicitor at the door by saying, "I can't right now, I have to go and feed MY BABY."  Ok, maybe she didn't emphaize the "my baby" part, but that's what it seemed like (I know, but hey, I am sensitive and fragile!)  Here's the kicker though, after our run (a good way to vent frustration by the way) and trip to Chipotle (nothing heals like guacamole) later that evening we passed the same house.  And what do you know....there's that baby lady with her BABY!  Just standing there in the doorway, all happy and full of baby-ness. You may have had to have been there, but it sure felt like that lady was put there on purpose to remind me that I don't have a baby.  It was what my husband called "a double in-your-face" day.  This made me laugh so hard.  In fact, we laughed about the baby lady the rest of the way home.  

My point is this, life just isn't fair...but maybe that's not an entirely bad thing.  It may be that in these moments we can really gain insight about ourselves.  I know that I have learned that during these times I have to honor my feeling of loss and respect that dull ache in my heart.  That from these dark, unhappy moments I draw strength to move forward. Sure there are bumps in the road (and they are hurtful and unpleasant), but hey, life's not fair, and maybe there's a good reason for that.