Many of you who read this blog are friends and family of mine...thanks for reading and for your support. For those few of you that are not, how did you find this blog? What keeps you coming back? Perhaps it's the randomness of my posts? Or maybe you just googled something weird like "coconut cream pie" and came up with this blog? Maybe you are going through the infertility journey yourself and are looking for anything to inform you, entertain you, or make you feel like you're not alone?
If you are here because of the final reason, then this post is for you. I want to share a little story. A few months ago I was sitting in my doctor's office. I was there early, before work, waiting to get my blood drawn and for the inevitable ultrasound that involves a table and stirrups...you know what I mean. Anyway, it's a fun way to start the day, let's just say that. As I was waiting for the one hundred millionth billionth gazillionth blood draw, I looked around the room. There were a handful women (and a few men) all sitting, awaiting the same fate. We were all politely "minding our own business," not wanting to make eye contact for fear of invasion of privacy or something. I was playing the game too...and it made me sad.
You see, what I really wanted to do was reach out and say, "Hey, I am going through this crap too and it really stinks, doesn't it?" I guess you could say that I wanted solidarity. I didn't want the awkward silence. I wanted something more. No, I wasn't expecting a prayer circle or a rendition of Kum Ba Yah to get busted out, but maybe a nod...or perhaps a smile??? Why? Because we need each other. This little world of infertility isn't really that little at all and what if we all smiled at each other and made a pact that we are in a "safe place" when we're together? We need to know that we are not alone...we can draw strength from that. While everyone's journey is personal and unique, it is our responsibility to not be ashamed or embarassed of our situation.
So the next time you are at your doctor's office, I challenge you to smile or nod, or heck, say hi and introduce yourself. What have you got to lose? My guess is that it's a lot less than you will have to gain. Let's do this together...solidarity.
Hi,
ReplyDeleteI follow your blog b/c you're going thourgh infertility and you're from chicago, and you're interested in nutrition. So we have a few things in common. I hear you about the divert glances in the waiting room, but I'm one of the people that really doesn't feel like talking about my infertility story at 7am in the waiting area. There's a time and place for everything.
With that in mind. I'm undergoing IVF at Fertility Centers of Illinois. If you go to their website, every other week on Sat. mornings they offer a Women's Support group led by a wonderful woman. I recently found out, that the support group is open to anyone undergoing infertility treatements at any clinic, you don't have to be one of their patrons. I was delighted by the idea. However, not a lot of people know about it, which is a shame. So I think on any given visit you will be in the minority if you are from another clinic.
They also offer couple's counseling once a month, with other couples. I'm assuming that's also open to people from other clinics. It doesn't hurt to call and ask.
In my opinion it's a much more appropriate time to share and listen to other's stories. You at least know everyone is there to share.
Good luck!