A Reminder

Sometimes life gets busy and you are bound to forget certain things…like, “did I ever pick up that dry cleaning?” or “did I return that email?” or “did I really eat all of my secret chocolate stash without replacing it?”  Yes, even when I have every intention of remembering something, I can forget it.  (Even my trusty calendar has failed me…or maybe I have failed it?)

Anyway, I have forgotten something very important.  Something that my husband (did I mention how awesome he is?) had to remind me about and something that was ironically, a recent blogging topic of mine.  I have forgotten to just say “no.”  Oh my, I actually can’t believe it myself.  With the summer and all of the new amazing opportunities that have come about, I have totally over-committed myself.  The sad part is that I didn’t even realize it.  Nope, my husband had to tell me.

Here’s the deal, I love feeling needed and wanted.  Yup, and when people ask me to do stuff (now they’re asking me to do fun stuff…finally), I find it hard to turn them down.  Bad Sara!

My husband pointed out what should’ve been obvious to me, but wasn’t.  “You aren’t relaxing!”  I got defensive and tried to cut him off with an “I know! (said with a clippy, abrasive tone of course… geez, sometimes I am such a jerk).  After some good, calm, rational conversation I actually and honestly agreed with him.  Yes, I am doing it again…taking on too much. 

I guess I am trying to “fill” my days so that I am not constantly thinking about not being pregnant.  The more things I can cram into a day, the better.  It’s easier to not have to think about this baby journey when I am completely and utterly exhausted.  Plus, I have always come from a place (totally inflicted upon myself by myself) where I have felt that if I am not working (or working hard), I am not really “pulling my weight” so to speak. 

But see, that’s just the problem.  No one ever says that cramming your day full of events and working to exhaustion helps the baby-making process.  No, quite the opposite in fact.   As for work, it does not define who I am or need to validate me as a person.

So I am taking my husband’s gentle reminder to heart.  More yoga, more reading, perhaps back to acupuncture and maybe even a massage.  At the very least, no more pushing myself to the brink.  It’s time for me to realize that it’s my job now to take care of myself…perhaps I just need a reminder of that every once in awhile.