I have accepted that I am one of the millions of women that struggles with infertility. I will never forget my first visit to the reproductive endocrinologist and how I felt when I left. Never before had I felt so sad and completely destroyed by something. Sure, I have had hardships, but this one thing...the one thing I never thought would be a struggle, had become just that. Disappointment doesn't even begin to describe how I felt. I was determined though, that I would beat this thing. I prayed about it, I sought out the help I needed, and I wouldn't stop...perserverance. Has it been easy? Absolutely not. Would I change anything? Absolutely not. You see, this is the journey I was meant to take. Had I not gone through all of this, I might not have learned all of the amazing things I have learned about myself (my emotions, my strengths, my weaknesses, my health, etc), my husband or our relationship. I have been cultivating myself and training myself...making the relationship with myself and my relationship with my husband stronger.
The timing seems right then...
I am now 15+ weeks pregnant and I am beyond ecstatic to share the good news with you! Our little one is a true miracle...conceived without any medication or intervention...a true miracle and blessing. I have been beyond emotional...as I am sure you can only imagine. Life has changed in the most positive way possible. Thank you to all of my family, friends and supporters...I could not have done this without all of you. For those of you still struggling with conceiving...I offer this advice...the journey is hard and difficult, so find things that make you happy and do them. Stay away from people that aren't supportive, instead surround yourself with supportive friends and family...and finally, don't give up hope...there is a plan for you. One of the most poignant things I remember reading in a book about infertility is that (no matter if you have faith or are faithless), you are not in control...you are on someone else's time and it's not for you to try to change that. Children are meant to be born when they are meant to be here on this earth. So, while it's hard to wait, just think, your baby is destined for amazing things.
In closing, I wanted to confirm that I will continue to post on my blog...still focusing on nutrition, health, infertility and my journey during pregnancy. Hopefully you can stay and enjoy the ride with me!
Friday, March 23, 2012
Thursday, March 15, 2012
Just What We Need
On my way up to the train platform this morning I noticed an advertisement. It was for McDonalds...nice, big and flashy. What were they advertising you ask? Glad you asked. On this brilliantly place advertisement they were advertising $1 ANY SIZE beverage.
Wow, thanks so much McDonald's. You know, 16 oz (which is a small) is just too expensive...it would be so much better if it was just one dollar! What's better is that the caring people of McDonald's love us so much that they even made their medium size (21 oz) and their large size (32 oz) only a dollar as well. Oh, things are finally right with the world.
So, yes, I am full of sarcasm, but it really is actually quite a shame. I know it's not solely the responsibility of McDonald's to care about the health of our country, but they could at least think of a healthier promotion. I mean, heck, it's National Nutrition Month (I know you didn't know that, that's why I'm telling you now)...why not capitalize on that? Advertise free apple sticks with every meal or start making your milkshakes with low-fat milk...just some ideas.
I encourage you to forgo the temptation of purchasing an "any size" dollar beverage. Instead, go buy yourself a piece of fruit (for less money) and enjoy the natural goodness of Mother Nature!
Wow, thanks so much McDonald's. You know, 16 oz (which is a small) is just too expensive...it would be so much better if it was just one dollar! What's better is that the caring people of McDonald's love us so much that they even made their medium size (21 oz) and their large size (32 oz) only a dollar as well. Oh, things are finally right with the world.
So, yes, I am full of sarcasm, but it really is actually quite a shame. I know it's not solely the responsibility of McDonald's to care about the health of our country, but they could at least think of a healthier promotion. I mean, heck, it's National Nutrition Month (I know you didn't know that, that's why I'm telling you now)...why not capitalize on that? Advertise free apple sticks with every meal or start making your milkshakes with low-fat milk...just some ideas.
I encourage you to forgo the temptation of purchasing an "any size" dollar beverage. Instead, go buy yourself a piece of fruit (for less money) and enjoy the natural goodness of Mother Nature!
Saturday, March 3, 2012
Chocolate Cake...yes please.
I bet you've been wondering where all of cooking experiments have gone. I can hear you all now..."Did her kitchen burn down? Is she on some crazy diet? Did she forget her way around the kitchen?" Well, not exactly...let's just say life has gotten in the way a little bit of my culinary adventures. But have no fear, my kitchen still stands, I am not on a diet and of course I remember my way around the kitchen.
To celebrate my return, I will be making...drum roll please...ok, so the title gave it away...chocolate cake! One of my favorite things! What's the reason? Well, it's two-fold really. The first reason is because, as I just told you, it is one of my favorite things. The other reason is that my brother and his fiance are coming up tomorrow for a visit. I couldn't let them down!
So, there's some pressure riding on this cake recipe...let's keep our fingers crossed. It's a new one I found on the box of King Arthur Flour and it sounds pretty delicious.
Moist Chocolate Cake
King Arthur Flour
Ingredients
2 cups King Arthur Unbleached Cake Flour Blend
1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
3/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
1 3/4 cups granulated sugar
1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, very soft
1/3 cup vegetable oil
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 cup milk
1/2 cup brewed, cooled coffee, or water
4 large eggs
To celebrate my return, I will be making...drum roll please...ok, so the title gave it away...chocolate cake! One of my favorite things! What's the reason? Well, it's two-fold really. The first reason is because, as I just told you, it is one of my favorite things. The other reason is that my brother and his fiance are coming up tomorrow for a visit. I couldn't let them down!
So, there's some pressure riding on this cake recipe...let's keep our fingers crossed. It's a new one I found on the box of King Arthur Flour and it sounds pretty delicious.
Moist Chocolate Cake
King Arthur Flour
Ingredients
2 cups King Arthur Unbleached Cake Flour Blend
1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
3/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
1 3/4 cups granulated sugar
1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, very soft
1/3 cup vegetable oil
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 cup milk
1/2 cup brewed, cooled coffee, or water
4 large eggs
Directions
1) Place a strainer over a large mixing bowl. Measure in the flour, baking powder, baking soda, salt, cocoa, and sugar. Sift/shake the dry ingredients through the strainer into a mixing bowl, to eliminate any lumps.
 |
| Please don't skip this step! I promise your hard effort at sifting will be worth it. |
2) Add the butter and mix at low speed for 1 minute. With the mixer running, add the oil and continue mixing until the mixture looks like sand.
3) Combine the vanilla with the milk and coffee or water, and add all at once. Mix for 1 minute at low speed, stop and scrape the sides and bottom of the bowl, then mix for 30 seconds.
 |
| Yum, looks like cake batter.... |
4) Add the eggs one at a time, beating well at medium-high speed between additions. (Personal note: be sure get the bottom stirred too if you are using a stand mixer.) The batter will be thin.
5) Pour the batter into the prepared pan of your choice (one 9" x 13" pan, two 9" round pans, or three 8" round pans). Bake in a preheated 350°F oven for 34 minutes for a 9" x 13" pan; 28 to 30 minutes for 9" layers; or 24 to 26 minutes for 8" layers. The cake is done when a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean. Remove from the oven and cool on a rack before frosting.
Check out more great recipes at http://www.kingarthurflour.com/
 |
| Ta da! |
Verdict? It's good! :)
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Happy Birthday to you!
It is a very special day. Why? Well, because not just one, but TWO very special people in my life are celebrating their birth anniversaries today! My mom and my sister-in-law.
While I wish I was there to help my mom celebrate her big day, we have plans in the works for a make-up birthday party. One that will involve me making whatever cake she wants. I am looking forward to that as you all know I love a good birthday party.
Mom, my birthday wish for you is that your upcoming year is filled with joy, peace and fun! You deserve this time to enjoy life and live it to its fullest. You've given so much of yourself to your family and now it's your turn! Carpe diem! Do what you have always wanted to do (as long as it is legal!) and spend your days fulfilling your dreams. I love you and am so happy to have you as my mother! Happy Birthday.
To my sister-in-law! Although you are far away, you are always in my thoughts and prayers. I know that you love birth anniversaries just as much as I do, so I hope that you are celebrating yours in style. Thank you for being such a fun and loving sister...the one I never had!!! I love you so much and Happy Birthday to you!!
Friday, February 24, 2012
Solidarity
Many of you who read this blog are friends and family of mine...thanks for reading and for your support. For those few of you that are not, how did you find this blog? What keeps you coming back? Perhaps it's the randomness of my posts? Or maybe you just googled something weird like "coconut cream pie" and came up with this blog? Maybe you are going through the infertility journey yourself and are looking for anything to inform you, entertain you, or make you feel like you're not alone?
If you are here because of the final reason, then this post is for you. I want to share a little story. A few months ago I was sitting in my doctor's office. I was there early, before work, waiting to get my blood drawn and for the inevitable ultrasound that involves a table and stirrups...you know what I mean. Anyway, it's a fun way to start the day, let's just say that. As I was waiting for the one hundred millionth billionth gazillionth blood draw, I looked around the room. There were a handful women (and a few men) all sitting, awaiting the same fate. We were all politely "minding our own business," not wanting to make eye contact for fear of invasion of privacy or something. I was playing the game too...and it made me sad.
You see, what I really wanted to do was reach out and say, "Hey, I am going through this crap too and it really stinks, doesn't it?" I guess you could say that I wanted solidarity. I didn't want the awkward silence. I wanted something more. No, I wasn't expecting a prayer circle or a rendition of Kum Ba Yah to get busted out, but maybe a nod...or perhaps a smile??? Why? Because we need each other. This little world of infertility isn't really that little at all and what if we all smiled at each other and made a pact that we are in a "safe place" when we're together? We need to know that we are not alone...we can draw strength from that. While everyone's journey is personal and unique, it is our responsibility to not be ashamed or embarassed of our situation.
So the next time you are at your doctor's office, I challenge you to smile or nod, or heck, say hi and introduce yourself. What have you got to lose? My guess is that it's a lot less than you will have to gain. Let's do this together...solidarity.
If you are here because of the final reason, then this post is for you. I want to share a little story. A few months ago I was sitting in my doctor's office. I was there early, before work, waiting to get my blood drawn and for the inevitable ultrasound that involves a table and stirrups...you know what I mean. Anyway, it's a fun way to start the day, let's just say that. As I was waiting for the one hundred millionth billionth gazillionth blood draw, I looked around the room. There were a handful women (and a few men) all sitting, awaiting the same fate. We were all politely "minding our own business," not wanting to make eye contact for fear of invasion of privacy or something. I was playing the game too...and it made me sad.
You see, what I really wanted to do was reach out and say, "Hey, I am going through this crap too and it really stinks, doesn't it?" I guess you could say that I wanted solidarity. I didn't want the awkward silence. I wanted something more. No, I wasn't expecting a prayer circle or a rendition of Kum Ba Yah to get busted out, but maybe a nod...or perhaps a smile??? Why? Because we need each other. This little world of infertility isn't really that little at all and what if we all smiled at each other and made a pact that we are in a "safe place" when we're together? We need to know that we are not alone...we can draw strength from that. While everyone's journey is personal and unique, it is our responsibility to not be ashamed or embarassed of our situation.
So the next time you are at your doctor's office, I challenge you to smile or nod, or heck, say hi and introduce yourself. What have you got to lose? My guess is that it's a lot less than you will have to gain. Let's do this together...solidarity.
Friday, February 17, 2012
Ways to keep yourself from going crazy this winter...
I personally do not like winter. This is ironic, considering I live in Chicago and our winters can be quite brutal. It comes down to the fact that I simply do not like being cold. Plus, you have to really plan what you're wearing...and not in a fun way. Walking to the train I need my long, hooded winter coat, scarf, hat, mittens and boots...not to mention my layers of clothing underneath! So while I am walking to the train I am warm-ish, but when I get on the train I am sweating and ready to rip off all of my layers. Ahhhh, city life and winter just don't mix.
So in the spirit of keeping my sanity on these shorter (although they are getting longer finally!), colder days I have found a few things that have helped me survive. Here they are in no certain order:
1) Read a good book. Trite advice I guess, but seriously, it's a good idea. My mom got me Bossypants by Tina Fey and it's hilarious! It's been fun to "escape" the cold with a funny biography.
2) Buy yourself something for the spring. Really, do it. Maybe it's a cute short-sleeve shirt or a fun pair of galoshes...whatever you want...it'll give you something to look forward to.
3) Take a nap. Yes, I am serious. In the warmer months you won't want to because there will be so many fun things going on. In the winter, there's no better place to be than home, wrapped up in a warm blanket, taking a little snooze on your couch.
4) Try that "On Demand" exercise class. Maybe you just can't get yourself to the gym in this weather, but if you are a sucker like me, you have cable and with that you have "On Demand." Did you know that besides a million tv shows and movies, they have free exercise videos? Yup and they're pretty good. So roll out your yoga mat, put on your stretchy clothes and get ready for some downward dog.
5) Go ahead, buy that cupcake/ice cream cone/cookie. Yes, I am a dietitian, but I am a person too. :) If you don't allow yourself a little sweet treat every good once in awhile you will just be sad (not clinically proven...but for me, it's true).
6) Try something new. Maybe now is the time to take that art class or karate lesson. If you've been wanting to start something, do it now, when you have a little more free time.
By the time your done with all of those things, it'll be spring! I am looking forward to it, but I will continue to enjoy these little things until then.
So in the spirit of keeping my sanity on these shorter (although they are getting longer finally!), colder days I have found a few things that have helped me survive. Here they are in no certain order:
1) Read a good book. Trite advice I guess, but seriously, it's a good idea. My mom got me Bossypants by Tina Fey and it's hilarious! It's been fun to "escape" the cold with a funny biography.
2) Buy yourself something for the spring. Really, do it. Maybe it's a cute short-sleeve shirt or a fun pair of galoshes...whatever you want...it'll give you something to look forward to.
3) Take a nap. Yes, I am serious. In the warmer months you won't want to because there will be so many fun things going on. In the winter, there's no better place to be than home, wrapped up in a warm blanket, taking a little snooze on your couch.
4) Try that "On Demand" exercise class. Maybe you just can't get yourself to the gym in this weather, but if you are a sucker like me, you have cable and with that you have "On Demand." Did you know that besides a million tv shows and movies, they have free exercise videos? Yup and they're pretty good. So roll out your yoga mat, put on your stretchy clothes and get ready for some downward dog.
5) Go ahead, buy that cupcake/ice cream cone/cookie. Yes, I am a dietitian, but I am a person too. :) If you don't allow yourself a little sweet treat every good once in awhile you will just be sad (not clinically proven...but for me, it's true).
6) Try something new. Maybe now is the time to take that art class or karate lesson. If you've been wanting to start something, do it now, when you have a little more free time.
By the time your done with all of those things, it'll be spring! I am looking forward to it, but I will continue to enjoy these little things until then.
Friday, February 3, 2012
A feeling of peace
Peace...
Right now I feel completely and utterly at peace. The years and years I have spent saying "yes" and living my life in a whirlwind seem to have fallen to the wayside. I am not saddened by that at all. I beleive this sense of peace is only a result of my past experiences.
If I hadn't worked so hard in school, I wouldn't have my great job. If I hadn't exhausted myself with culinary school, I would've never been a chef. If I never took care of myself or exercised, I would've never completed marathons and triathlons. If I never said "yes" to the opportunities that came my way, I wouldn't appreciate this peace.
It is the first time I have actually recognized this feeling in my life. I am happy and I am truly at peace. While life still has it's challenges (my struggle with infertility, my inability to say "no" sometimes, family issues, etc), I am in a good place.
Maybe I have felt this peace before but never truly acknowledged it. From now on I plan on making it a goal of mine to live in the peace while I have it. I challenge you to do the same. Sometimes, just taking a moment to stop and reflect is all you need to feel it. It's like a warm hug or a deep sigh...nice.
Find your peace.
Right now I feel completely and utterly at peace. The years and years I have spent saying "yes" and living my life in a whirlwind seem to have fallen to the wayside. I am not saddened by that at all. I beleive this sense of peace is only a result of my past experiences.
If I hadn't worked so hard in school, I wouldn't have my great job. If I hadn't exhausted myself with culinary school, I would've never been a chef. If I never took care of myself or exercised, I would've never completed marathons and triathlons. If I never said "yes" to the opportunities that came my way, I wouldn't appreciate this peace.
It is the first time I have actually recognized this feeling in my life. I am happy and I am truly at peace. While life still has it's challenges (my struggle with infertility, my inability to say "no" sometimes, family issues, etc), I am in a good place.
Maybe I have felt this peace before but never truly acknowledged it. From now on I plan on making it a goal of mine to live in the peace while I have it. I challenge you to do the same. Sometimes, just taking a moment to stop and reflect is all you need to feel it. It's like a warm hug or a deep sigh...nice.
Find your peace.
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