Will they like me?

Have you ever wondered that?  I feel like I wonder that all of the time.  I have a history of needing to know that I am accepted and liked.  I'm not sure, but I think it all started in the 2nd grade.  Back when being the new kid in the Catholic gradeschool was anything but cool.  I dreaded school and I couldn't stand that I never seemed to fit in no matter how hard I tried.  I was picked on and it was hard.  Crazy that I can still vividly remember all of the hurtful words and things those kids did to me.  My savior in all of this???  My dearest friend  (since the 2nd grade of course) of 25 years!  :)  She was the only one who didn't care what people said...and she's still this way...love that about her.

Over the years, I continue to worry if people will like me.  I seek signs of acceptance and approval and it really drives me crazy.  After some good thinking on this and talking through it with some professionals, I have started to turn off that little voice that says "you're not good enough, you're not smart enough...you're just not enough."  Oh, it sure is hard, but necessary in order for me to move forward.

That brings me to today.  As I sit here in the hours before a relatively important event, I have caught myself wondering "will they like me?"  Oh no, not again!!!  Luckily, I am able to identify this little voice these days and squash it...even just if it's just a little bit. So here's what I say.  I am who I am.  If they don't like me, they don't like me.  Not everyone is going to like me or approve of what I do or say and that's ok.  I need to stop being the one that gets in the way of me!!!

So, here I go...like me or not!